looser....

i never got what i deserved. one can get frustrated with this.. every time you think you are good enough and u think people will notice your work and will appreciate it.. someone is there in this world who does better than you... this keeps happening with me ..

B school has changed me a lot.. i now think more about my internal growth as a person and everytime i try hard.. i fail.. and that leads to more frustration...

i was much better off when i was working.. or when i was in under grad school.... i was one of those ever positive chill maar type.. not caring about the world.. not caring about what others think about me.. but B school has totally played havoc with my mental state.... i dont know whether its for the good or bad.... only time will tell..

i was desperate to get my internship with one of the leading organization in india.. was thrilled when i got it.. but two months of torture are forgettable.. i hated every minute over there.. and just think.. when ur GF is having the ball of her time in her organization and u are hating every second of it.. u get even more frustrated.... just wanna yell at her and say stop it.. just stop talking about the fucking thing.. thank god i have a very beautiful and caring GF.. she understood my situation.. and never spoke of it..

back in coll.. where i wanted to be the most after the horrendous two months.. thinks did not get better.. everyone comes to you and asks you the same question.. "how was it".. man.. i have had it.. i could not take it anymore..

i felt like a looser.. i am still low.. i dont know what to do.. how to come of it.. do i have answers.... i think i have.. its well within me... i cant take it on anyone.. i feel sad for her.. hope she understands... but how much to expect from everyone... what is her threshold ?.. hope i have answers for that too..

averages!!!

this is a nice article by vani, an economist at the university of ultser...
may be will help us identify the best batsman in the world as of now.. :)

truth burried

When do relationships work and move on?..

what do i do?

its good to be back in coll.... my mentor at my organization told me that these are the last few months that you will remember for the rest of your life.. so go back to college and do something useful..

i have been thinking from the day i got back to college.. what is the most useful thing for me that i can do now.. for the next five months.. i had three options..

one to take part in a number of these B School games and try winning some event or the other.. may be write a B Plan... this would help me build a strong resume when i sit for the final placements.. also give an exposure to the competitions.. it should help me hone my presentation skills, may go around to a couple of colleges and get a chance to see a lot of hot chicks.. :P.. i really don't think i am really interested in strengthening my resume at this point of time.. i am targeting a set of companies for my placement and i think for these companies, my current resume is strong enough and with respect to the hot chicks.. sorry!!!

the next best option is something i am passionate about.. GASP.. i think its time for us to revive it and give it some life.. but there is a hitch.. i need to garner support from the ex- GASPians.. though most of them would be free at this point of time.. i hope i can convince them to do it once more.. we also have a beautiful amphitheater near the lake.. that should entice my friends..

The last option is go inwards.. about myself.. try to become a better person in this world.. off late i have developed keen interest in reading the Upanishads and Bhagavad Gita. i have no idea what triggered the interest but its there..

1st option - Nay. not interested
2nd - good one .. but lot of effort required.. will try convincing my fellow GASPIANS about this
3rd - started reading the Upanishads as of now.. lets see where it goes...

The future of market research

Read this article by Tim Harford on lets go personal .. this is the dream of every marketer..

looks to be a good B plan for me.. i could use it in the coming competitions. ...

Happy Diwali

A prosperous and happy deepavali .... wished my chittappa when he came home around 4 PM with chitti and my sweet cousin..
we were totally engrossed in the 2nd ODI between india and pakistan..and my other chitappa also came home to celebrate deepavali with us. generally deepavali is celebrated in south with all the family members getting together for the entire day and bursting crackers...and as usual, the day long television shows play spoil sport and on top of it we have the ODI happening in Mohali, do you expect us to move away from the television screeens!!!

All we needed was a brilliant spark.. from someone.. an iota of motivation to move away from the screens and go out and explore the evening.. and it came from my chitti.. she casually mentioned about fireworks show at the triplicane parthsarathy temple and we all were game to go there and watch the spectacle, though we were a little doubtful about the show happening would be continuing till 8 in the night....we all took a chance..

when we reached the temple premises, the utsavar was already at the merku veedi and a huge crowd was already there to watch the fireworks show..
" brilliant, awesome, mind blowing"... no words to explain what we saw..... it was sheer brilliance .. a confluence of religion and modern logistics management.. they made sure than at no point of time during the 6 hours walk of the utsavar around the temple, the sky was without a display of the most expensive fireworks.

we were very close to the firing zone, and we saw the efficiency with which they kept firing the crackers in all directions.. we came to know from one of the vadhyars that the community there spend around 1 Crore of rupees every year just for that one night... my god!!!.. we did not believe it at the beginning.. but u have to see the show to actually believe it ...

it was raining ashes and all of us were covered with potassium, magnesium and what ever that goes in to the making of a cracker..... we stayed there for around two hours and we never had the heart to come out of that place.. though it was expected to continue for two more hours...

a great deepvali.. a great way to end the day.. though it was a great compensation to the grand celebration we had last year when all the five brothers and their family went to srirangam to celebrate the deepavali with my grand ma...

one wishes to do such things every year... but doing it different every times.. makes u want more of deepavali ...

shabaa ippove kanna kattudhe.. mudiyala.. too good.. and i am feeling sooo sleepy as if i was a part of the firing squad.. :)

15 more days to go...

hey.. i am going back to college soon.. :)..

i am almost finishing my project with citibank and the next two weeks would be just completing my project report and preparing the ppt.. make a good one.. jazz it up and present to the entire e - biz team at citi.. :).. man.. thats all i have to do and then i get back to my abode.. the secluded life in my b school campus..

last two months were pretty interesting.. to begin with.. i was really frustrated as i did not start working from day 1..and slowly work picked up and i am right now having a decent time working the whole day.. :).. but nothings like going back to coll and sit with friends all night and chat with them on IP.. :).

the expose......

its been more than a week when the first videos of the tehelka's sting operation came on television. i have been following the events closely and the varied opinions, protest that came from all quarters of the country..

while reading about the entire operation, what struck me was the vengeance and hatred that the hindu's had towards the muslims... i feel humiliated to be a hindu !

i was thinking of how such hatred came into existence.... what created this tension that made post godhra riots a reality....i assume the answers to such questions go a long way back in time and politics...
how do we make sure an other godhra and post godhra does not happen in this country....is it in the hands of the government or in our hands.. in the hands of the moderates and liberals.. across community.. across religion and across castes..

i think the time is fast approaching for bloggers... professionals to dirty their hands and get into the act of cleaning the political landscape of the country.. :).... mark my words here.. :)